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INTJ: How To Be Extroverted

How Memory Works: 10 Things Most People Get Wrong

"If we remembered everything we should on most occasions be as ill off as if we remembered nothing." ~William James

It's often said that a person is the sum of their memories. Your experience is what makes you who you are.
Despite this, memory is generally poorly understood, which is why many people say they have 'bad memories'. That's partly because the analogies we have to hand—like that of computer memory—are not helpful. Human memory is vastly more complicated and quirky than the memory residing in our laptops, tablets or phones.
Here is my 10-point guide to the psychology of memory (it is based on an excellent review chapter by the distinguished UCLA memory expert, Professor Robert A. Bjork)

1. Memory does not decay

Everyone has experienced the frustration of not being able to recall a fact from memory. It could be someone's name, the French for 'town hall' or where the car is parked.
So it seems obvious that memories decay, like fruit going off. But the research tends not to support this view. Instead many researchers think that in fact memory has a limitless capacity. Everything is stored in there but, without rehearsal, memories become harder to access. This means it's not the memory that's 'going off' it's the ability to retrieve it.
But what on earth is the point of a brain that remembers everything but can't recall most of it? Here's what:

2. Forgetting helps you learn

The idea that forgetting helps you learn seems counter-intuitive, but think of it this way: imagine if you created a brain that could remember and recall everything. When this amazing brain was trying to remember where it parked the car, it would immediately bring to mind all the car parks it had ever seen, then it would have to sort through the lot.
Obviously the only one that's of interest is the most recent. And this is generally true of most of our memories. Recent events are usually much more important than ones that happened a long time ago.
To make your super-brain quicker and more useful in the real world you'd have to build in some system for discounting old, useless info. In fact, of course, we all have one of these super-brains with a discounting system: we call it 'forgetting'.
That's why forgetting helps you learn: as less relevant information becomes inaccessible, we are naturally left with the information that is most important to our daily survival.

3. 'Lost' memories can live again

There's another side to the fact that memories do not decay. That's the idea that although memories may become less accessible, they can be revived.
Even things that you have long been unable to recall are still there, waiting to be woken. Experiments have shown that even information that has long become inaccessible can still be revived. Indeed it is then re-learned more quickly than new information.
This is like the fact that you never forget how to ride a bike, but it doesn't just apply to motor skills, it also applies to memories.

4. Recalling memories alters them

Although it's a fundamental of memory, the idea that recall alters memories seems intuitively wrong. How can recalling a memory change it?
Well, just by recalling a memory, it becomes stronger in comparison to other memories. Let's run this through an example. Say you think back to one particular birthday from childhood and you recall getting a Lego spaceship. Each time you recall that fact, the other things you got for your birthday that day become weaker in comparison.
The process of recall, then, is actually actively constructing the past, or at least the parts of your past that you can remember.
This is only the beginning though. False memories can potentially be created by this process of falsely recalling the past. Indeed, psychologists have experimentally implanted false memories.
This raises the fascinating idea that effectively we create ourselves by choosing which memories to recall.

5. Memory is unstable

The fact that the simple act of recall changes memory means that it is relatively unstable. But people tend to think that memory is relatively stable: we forget that we forgot and so we think we won't forget in the future what we now know.
What this means is that students, in particular, vastly underestimate how much effort will be required to commit material to memory. And they're not the only ones. This leads to...

6. The foresight bias

Everyone must have experienced this. You have an idea that is so great you think it's impossible you'll ever forget it. So you don't bother writing it down. Within ten minutes you've forgotten it and it never comes back.
We see the same thing in the lab. In one study by Koriat and Bjork (2005) people learned pairs of words like 'light-lamp', then are asked to estimate how likely it is they'll be able to answer 'lamp' when later given the prompt 'light'. They are massively over-confident and the reason is this foresight bias. When they get the word 'light' later all kinds of other things come to mind like 'bulb' or 'shade' and the correct answer isn't nearly as easy to recall as they predicted.

7. When recall is easy, learning is low

We feel clever when we recall something instantly and stupid when it takes ages. But in terms of learning, we should feel the exact reverse. When something comes to mind quickly, i.e. we do no work to recall it, no learning occurs. When we have to work hard to bring it to consciousness, something cool happens: we learn.
When people's memories are tested, the more work they have done to construct, or re-construct, the target memory, the stronger the memory eventually becomes. This is why proper learning techniques always involve testing, because just staring at the information isn't good enough: learning needs effortful recall.

8. Learning depends heavily on context

Have you ever noticed that when you learn something in one context, like the classroom, it becomes difficult to recall when that context changes?
This is because learning depends heavily on how and where you do it: it depends on who is there, what is around you and how you learn.
It turns out that in the long-term people learn information best when they are exposed to it in different ways or different contexts. When learning is highly context-dependent, it doesn't transfer well or stick as well over the years.
I had a friend at University who swore that standing on a chair or up against a wall helped him to revise. I used to laugh at him but there was method in his madness.

9. Memory, reloaded

If you want to learn to play tennis, is it better to spend one week learning to serve, the next week the forehand, the week after the backhand, and so on? Or should you mix it all up with serves, forehands and backhands every day?
It turns out that for long-term retention, memories are more easily recalled if learning is mixed up. This is just as true for both motor learning, like tennis, as it is for declarative memory, like what's the capital of Venezuela (to save you googling: it's Caracas).
The trouble is that learning like this is worse to start off with. If you practice your serve then quickly switch to the forehand, you 'forget' how to serve. So you feel things are going worse than if you just practice your serve over-and-over again. But, in the long-run this kind of mix-and-match learning works best.
One explanation for why this works is called the 'reloading hypothesis'. Each time we switch tasks we have to 'reload' the memory. This process of reloading strengthens the learning.

10. Learning is under your control

The practical upshot of these facts about memory is that we often underestimate how much control we have over our own memory.
For example, people tend to think that some things are, by their nature, harder to learn, and so they give up. However, techniques like using different contexts, switching between tasks and strenuous reconstruction of memories can all help boost retention.
People also tend to think that the past is fixed and gone; it can't be changed. But how we recall the past and think about it can be changed. Recalling memories in different ways can help us re-interpret the past and set us off on a different path in the future. For example, studies have shown that people can crowd out painful negative memories by focusing on more positive ones (Levy & Anderson, 2008).
All in all, our memory isn't as poor as we might imagine. It may not work like a computer, but that's what makes it all the more fascinating to understand and experience.

How Memory Works: 20 Psychological Insights

How Memory Works: 20 Psychological Insights

1
How Memory Works: 10 Things Most People Get Wrong
http://www.spring.org.uk/2012/10/how-memory-works-10-things-most-people-get-wrong.php

2
Why People’s Names Are So Hard to Remember
http://www.spring.org.uk/2011/12/why-peoples-names-are-so-hard-to-remember.php

3
How Memories are Distorted and Invented: Misattribution
http://www.spring.org.uk/2008/02/how-memories-are-distorted-and-invented.php

4
Memory Improved 20% by Nature Walk
http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/01/memory-improved-20-by-nature-walk.php

5
Absent-Mindedness: A Blessing in Disguise?
http://www.spring.org.uk/2008/01/absent-mindedness-blessing-in-disguise.php

6
Mind Pops: Memories That Come From Nowhere
http://www.spring.org.uk/2012/11/mind-pops-memories-that-come-from-nowhere.php

7
How Quickly We Forget: The Transience of Memory
http://www.spring.org.uk/2008/01/how-quickly-we-forget-transience-of.php

8
Reconstructing the Past: How Recalling Memories Alters Them
http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/02/reconstructing-the-past-how-recalling-memories-alters-them.php

9
Can Doodling Improve Memory and Concentration?
http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/01/can-doodling-improve-memory-and-concentration.php

10
On the Tip-of-the-Tongue: Blocked Memories
http://www.spring.org.uk/2008/01/on-tip-of-tongue-blocked-memories.php

11
Six Memory Myths
http://www.spring.org.uk/2011/08/memory-test-whats-your-score.php

12
Memory Improved By Saying Words Aloud
http://www.spring.org.uk/2010/06/memory-improved-by-saying-words-aloud.php

13
Infant Memory Works From Very Early
http://www.spring.org.uk/2008/05/infant-memory-works-from-very-early.php

14
Memories Are Made of This
http://www.spring.org.uk/2008/10/memories-are-made-of-this.php

15
Memory Enhanced by a Simple Break After Reading
http://www.spring.org.uk/2012/08/memory-enhanced-by-a-simple-break-after-reading.php

16
The Persistence of Memory
http://www.spring.org.uk/2008/02/persistence-of-memory.php

17
7 Simple Ways to Improve Your Memory Without Any Training
http://www.spring.org.uk/2011/05/7-simple-ways-to-improve-your-memory-without-any-training.php

18
How the Consistency Bias Warps Our Personal and Political Memories
http://www.spring.org.uk/2008/02/how-consistency-bias-warps-our-personal.php

19
The Temporal Doppler Effect: Why The Future Feels Closer Than The Past
http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/03/the-temporal-doppler-effect-why-the-future-feels-closer-than-the-past.php

20
Implanting False Memories: Lost in the Mall & Paul Ingram
http://www.spring.org.uk/2008/02/implanting-false-memories-lost-in-mall.php


http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/06/how-memory-works-20-psychological-insights.php

How Memory Works: 20 Psychological Insights

www.spring.org.uk

Find out how memory twists, pops, distorts, persists and decays, along with the odd tip on how to improve it.

Korean universities Teaching Jobs

I don't know about the document you're referring to, but I know that a Master's will make you more employable. Particularly as Korean universities are already planning or making cuts in their staffs (including professors) and programmes (majors/courses).
If you want to teach English, an MA or MEd in English, linguistics, applied linguistics, or TESOL/TEFL would be most valuable, I believe. I know some people who only have Master's degrees and teach in other subjects at universities, but I think these jobs will become rarer as well.
This is mainly speculation, of course, but I know for a fact that cuts are happening or coming in a number of Korean universities because of the decline in the birth rate which will lead to reduced enrollments by somewhere between 2017 and 2020.

I agree with Mathew that uni positions will soon be hard to come by, and already have become quite competitive. Our university has already added a requirement that candidates need two years teaching experience at the university level in addition to an MA, and we are still flooded with qualified applications. Currently, an MA via a distance program can be sufficient, but preference is still given to those who get MAs through traditional programs.

As I have come to understand things, a master's degree is required for advancement into the professor rank (E-1), however, one may still be hired by a university at a level below that, e.g., an instuctor under an E-2 visa. The greatest asset for an entry level hire is not always the master's degree but rather university equivalent years of experience. Once a person has at least 2 years of experience they may seek a teaching position at a uni. Unfortunately, univeraities do not include hakwon experience when calculating the required years of experience a candidate has at the time they apply for a professorship. Hakwon experience is included in the calculation of required years toward an instructor position though.
This blog has run a series of interviews that you might find helpful. http://www.alienteachers.com/1/post/2013/05/ma-tesolapplied-linguistics-interview-1-with-tyson-seburnt.html

KISS HER THE RIGHT WAY

KISS HER THE RIGHT WAY

There's a right way to kiss her for the first time. I recommend:
- bringing your heads closer together
- using your hand to tilt her head slightly (like in the movies)
- putting your lips on hers softly and relaxed
- following her lead with the kiss for a few seconds and then pulling away
This will be a knockout kiss for her that will make her want more.

What Makes a Man
Attractive To Korean Women?

Wondering what makes a man attractive to a korean woman?
First let's understand what makes men attractive to women in general.
After years of studying male-female attraction this is what I've discovered:
Women value a man's
• Maturity
• Masculinity
• Mindset
• Mission
Attractive men have been able to attract women by indirectly demonstrating these qualities. Showing that you have these 4 characteristics is as important as having them.
Remember what David Deangelo said: "Attraction is not a choice."

What Makes A Man Attractive?

Maturity Women are attracted to more mature men. Now this doesn't mean 'old' men…at least not physically.
It refers to their level of mental and emotional maturity.
Are you a man who cries at the first sign of stress?
Do you depend on your woman for emotional needs?
Do you let your ego get the better of you all the time?
Or do you control it?
Or can you stand on your own two feet? Are you responsible about your life and how you act? Do you find yourself able to cope with life's challenges and deserve to live a happy life?
More importantly: Are you a responsible man?
Masculinity A woman is naturally attracted to a masculine man. This doesn't mean growing a big beard and not showering.
It means knowing and accepting your desires as a man. You are attracted to women and make no excuses about it. A masculine man is an active player in life. When you want something you get it.
Are you? Masculinity is a core element of what makes a man attractive.
Mindset Do you take life too seriously or can you roll with the punches? Women are attracted to men who have a powerful and positive mindset.
Are you optimistic about the future? Or do you bring everyone down with doom and gloom? Would you be able to keep a clear and focused head when your world is crumbling?
Mission Every man has a mission that they must discover. A woman is attracted to a man on a mission. What are your life goals? Where are you going? What do you want to change about the world?
So now that you know what makes a man attractive? How can you display these traits? Do you just tell a woman?
Not at all! The best way is to implicitly display them!

Telltale Signs that Make a Man Attractive

What are some things you display your attractiveness?
Your actions - When you want something are you doing it? You want a Korean woman but are you even approaching her?
Your bodylanguage - Do you slouch like a submissive man? Or do you stand tall and erect like a dominant man?
Your body - Are you in good shape? Does your body show that you're in charge of it? How's your fashion?
Your voice - Do you speak with a voice of confidence? Or do you sound like you're whispering?
Your status - Do you have a leadership job? Are you on a job with a mission?
Your words - Do you talk about light and playful things? Or do you always talk about politics or religion?
For more on how to use humor to attract women from Korea I recommend clicking on the link.
These are some of the implicit ways to show what makes a man attractive.

Display These Traits To Attract Korean Women

Korean women are different than Western women. For one thing they aren't as mature or independent because of their collective upbringing.
That being said they are still attracted to a man with these traits no matter his ethnicity. For more on how to attract women from Korea simply click on the link.
'Attraction' can be your best tool to bring Korean women (or women in general) into your life.
Remember - 'attraction' is not a choice! ;-)

Could You Attract Younger Women From Korea WITH Your Age?

Could You Attract Younger Women
From Korea WITH Your Age?

Discover how to attract younger women from Korea thanks to your age and enjoy an emotionally fulfilling relationship!
Attract younger women and satisfy those natural urges!

Women from Korean in their 20s and 30s are beautiful and full of life.

What's great news for you is that you can!

Many young Korean women are seeking

• something new and exciting

• someone with experience

• someone more mature

Being a lot older than her brings her many things.

For a lot of beautiful Korean women you're the ticket to a happy relationship!
The best part is that they're looking for someone like you as well. This is important because the young woman who caught your eye might be begging to herself that you'd start a conversation before.

So let's look into how you're just what she's looking for.

Attract Younger Women With Novelty!

Being a foreigner for her is a novelty.

Being an older foreigner is something she's only dreamed about!

I've personally been with one Korean woman who told me she fantasized about older men.

She said she liked the 'Sean Connery' types.

Rest easy - I didn't look like Sean Connery either. ;-)

By being older you play a role in her fantasy.

In fact you make it come true to those who want to be with an older man.

Attract Younger Women With Your Experience

This isn't just about your experience with women and in bed. Granted she does want to be with an older man because he offers those things to her.

It's also about your life experiences. You can share with her the adventure that life has been for you. She wants to hear it. For her life is a fascinating things.

By being older than her you can share with her your stories and wisdom.

Think that you don't have anything to share? You bet you do

When was your favorite year and why?

Share that with her.

Share your journey and how it's made you the man you are today. She'll love you for it!

Attract Younger Women With Your Maturity

I'm not just talking about being more "mature" than her physically. Even though this is something she enjoys it's only a part of the picture.

A lot of hot Korean women love being with an older man because he's more stable and reliable. A lot of the younger guys are more likely to play around and leave her.

You give her the gift of security and feeling safe in your arms. Younger guys can't really give that to her even if they wanted to.

She also knows that she's quite a catch for you too. This ironically helps you. If she knows that you're grateful for being with her then you're more likely to stick around.

For Korean women being with someone who'll stick around is VITAL because of their lowered status in Korean society.

Can You Attract Any Young Woman?

Of course not.

Many younger Korean women won't want to be with an older man. At the same time many younger Korean women don't want to be with a younger man.

If you're serious about having a young woman in your life I recommend doing what it takes to find the ones who are into you.

For more tips to date younger women I recommend clicking on the link.

Have fun! ;-)

How To Send a Sexual Message Covertly To Korean Women!

How To Send a Sexual Message
Covertly To Korean Women!

In a strict society like Korea's knowing how to send a sexual message covertly is VITAL.

Women are extremely sexual and Korean women are no exception!

So how can you make seducing a Korean woman more easy for you and adventurous for her?

I recommend:

• wearing revealing or sexual clothes

• saying a few sexual jokes or sexual double-speak

• touching her intimately from the beginning

Once you can do these things then sexually seducing a beautiful Korean woman becomes fun for everyone. You'll also get to know each other more 'intimately. ;-)

Wear Sexual Clothing

Note that wearing revealing or sexual clothing isn't the same as not wearing anything at all. ;-)

If you want to send a strong sexual message I recommend wearing clothing that shows your sexual nature.

Tight jeans or T-shirt is one way. Wearing an opened up shirt is another. Having a handcuff chain is a STRONG way of showing your sexual nature.

Your clothes must do the job of showing that you're a sexual being. That way when she sees you she will either:

• walk away because she doesn't want to be seduced or chatted up

• stay and let you chat her up because she likes what she sees

You can save time and energy by sticking with seducing Korean women who do the latter.

Make Sexual Jokes

Another great way to send a sexual message covertly is by putting it in a normal conversation.

For example if she's eating a banana you can say "You like bananas inside you I think. That's good!

It's good for your health. Isn't it too big for your mouth?" ;-)

Or if it's a hot day and she's sweating you can say "You look wet.

I'm sorry I have that effect on women. ;-)"

Making sexual jokes and double speak like this works because it makes her laugh and she begins to feel sexual.

Of if she doesn't like it and acts repulsed then she probably doesn't want to be seduced anyway. In that case you can either walk away to seduce another woman or let her walk away.

Whatever happens - you win.
You can do this with texts and messages but be careful. Texts and online messages don't send your tone. If you send a text it's easier for her to take it the wrong way.

For example if I send the message: "You like bananas I think." She can take it literally and not get it. Granted I could add emoticons but still. I bet the example above even took time for you TOO to get the sexual joke.

The BEST way to send sexy messages is offline.

Touch Her Intimately...

Touching her is a POWERFUL sexual message. It shows that you're comfortable with your sexuality and with 'touch'.

If you're comfortable with your sexuality then she will begin to be too. Or rather she will be comfortable with showing her sexual side with you.

If you're a touchy-feel guy then she won't be surprised later on when you make a move. In fact she will welcome it because you've made it obvious to her that you're that type of guy.

This is where a lot of guys make mistakes. They don't get physical at all and then JUMP at physical intimacy. This freaks the women out and leaves the men alone and confused.

By touching her from the beginning you're guaranteeing that she'll feel comfortable with you touching her more.

Of course start with socially appropriate places like the upper arm and shoulders and work your way around as you get more intimate.

Let HER Send You Sexual Messages

If you're doing it right and she wants to be seduced then she'll start to send you sexual messages too.

Keep in mind that Korean women are not as sexually overt as women from your country (unless you come from Saudi Arabia.)

So you might want to work a little harder or go to a more private place before she will allow herself to send you messages (ie: touch you and tease you.) ;-)

Whatever happens have fun!

Related Links

Return to the top of sexual message here!

More on Sexual Seduction here!

Return to Korea-Dating-Tips.com here!

Why Use Sexual Body Language For Seducing Korean Women?

Why Use Sexual Body Language
For Seducing Korean Women?

The #1 tool you can use to seduce women is sexual body language.
It does more than break through the language barrier.
Knowing how to non-verbally communicate your sexual intent is powerful when done well.
Rest easy: Soon you'll discover why body language is powerful and how to use it successfully.
You'll soon be filtering through ladies who will waste your time more quickly.
You'll also be sexually communicating with the women who want to be seduced.

Sexual Body Language Communicates Your Sexuality

If you're comfortable with your sexuality and sexual desires then your body will show it.
It's not about being naked or wearing a few sexual ornaments. It's about poising yourself as a man who's comfortable with his sexual nature.
Think of Brad Pitt as a great example. His body language does more than show his sexuality.
It also shows that he's comfortable with it.
So is just having the right poise and look enough to seduce a woman? Not exactly.
You can make it more powerful in the right situations.

When Sexual Body Language Works Best

Have you ever had a woman do or say something that you really liked? This is the best time to use sexy body language.
The next time a Korean woman says or does something you enjoy I recommend telling in a sexy way that you like that she said (such n such).
At the same time give her a look like you just want to make love to her there and then.
It sets the frame that your sexuality is a reward for her good behavior. She will then associate your sexual intent with her good behavior. So it will become a reward for her.
Who doesn't like rewards? ;-)

How To Make Sexual Body Language More Effective

The #1 mistake guys make is to either constantly show sexy body language or to not show any at all.
Doing the first thing makes those guys come across as perverts.
Doing the second thing makes them come across as 'nice guys who'd make good friends'.
To get the BEST results I recommend only displaying your sexual desires when she does or says something you like.
In addition to that you can mix it up with casual talk and showing some vulnerability.
That's when you show that you understand your human nature.

Show Your Vulnerable Side

Remember when you were a child? Think of a time when you had to admit that you teased your little sister or niece.
Let's go back to the example of expressing your sexual desire because she did something you liked.
I recommend following that up by then saying that it's just your opinion and that you know what you said was inappropriate.
I also recommend having showing a vulnerable side to you with your body language and facial expressions.

Note: Accepting that something is inappropriate shows social awareness. That's different than saying you're sorry for what you said. That shows embarrassment for your desires which is bad if you want a woman to see you as a sexual being.
For more on how to properly do sexual seductions click on the link.

Sexual Body Language Is Your Ultimate Seduction Tool!

A quick recap.
step 1 - she does or says something you like
step 2 - you display sexual intent with your body and face and tell her it's because of something she just said or did
step 3 - she acknowledges it and either blushes or gives you a 'pervert' look (which is just to protect herself from getting turned on. Think 'Princess Leia in Empire Strikes Back'.) Or she says 'thank you' which is what a mature woman would do
step 4 - you show your vulnerable side and tell her that it's just your opinion
step 5 - you return to casual talk and repeat later on
This combination is a powerful way to seduce with your bodylanguage.
For more tips on how to seduce women in Korea I recommend joining out Meet Korean Women Newsletter.
You'll discover more about Korean culture and how to start seducing Korean women.
Have fun! ;-)

Related Links

Return to the top of Sexual Body Language here!

Seduce your Korean girlfriend with these sexual seduction tips here!

Return to Korea-Dating-Tips.com here!

Sexual Seduction Tips To Make Your Korean Girlfriend Want You...

Sexual Seduction Tips To Make
Your Korean Girlfriend Want You...

Sexual seduction - Discover how to be good in bed and

make your Korean girlfriend stay!

Sexual seduction is amazing for any woman.

But for a Korean woman it's even more amazing!

Why?

Because chances are (and I'll be blunt) that she doesn't know what a good time in bed is REALLY like.

Korean society is very focused on academics and family.

So much so that most Koreans either don't know what a good time in bed is or just don't care enough.

So why not be HER exception?

Why not be the man to give it to her?

If you can sexually seduce a Korean woman she'll remember you forever and will definitely stick around.

So what can you do NOW to be better in bed with your Korean girlfriend?

You can

• get her to climax

• try new things in bed

• apply sexual seduction OUTSIDE of the bedroom

• make sure she says 'thank you'

Believe me when I say that if you're good in bed your Korean girlfriend will treasure you forever.

Sexual Seduction Skill #1 - Get Her Climaxing With You

The only time I'll accept it if someone says that a Korean woman is like a woman from anywhere is when we're talking about her anatomy.

It's important to find her #1 sensual spot and play with it. That magic spot is between her legs. To learn more about how to give an orgasm massage then click on the link.

Most men in her life have probably never found it. She has probably never experienced it. Make it happen and she'll be forever grateful.

Now the next time you're in bed with a woman I don't recommend making her feel like the only thing you care about is to get her to orgasm. It works better if you make it part of your overall sexual skills.

In fact sometimes for me I don't do it to keep her remembering that it's about us getting deeply intimate and not the orgasms. You see it's not just a question of doing it all the time. It's a question 'can you do it' to her and doing it when YOU want to.
That question is what get her madly into you! If you want the skills to guarantee this I recommend checking out RedpoleQ's 'Art & Science of Sex' Seminar. You can check out the schedule when he's in Seoul by clicking on the link. I took that seminar back in 2007 and it has allowed myself (and my girlfriends) to live happier sex lives.

So what else can you do to make sexual seduction a tool for you that works?

Sexual Seduction Tool # 2 - Try New Things in The Bedroom

Another great way to make sure she's having fun in bed is to mix things up. Variety promises excitement so why not give it to her?

Try different positions. Besides the normal positions like missionary and cowgirl why not play around and make some up together? If you try new things and keep an eye on how she's enjoying sex you'll both find her new favorite position. ;-)

Introduce new things to the bedroom. No you don't have to bring animals. Instead bring

• foods and drinks

• blindfolds and ropes

• new music (I recommend Enigma and Vanessa Daou)

These are just a few ideas. Introduce them one at a time and you'll make sex much more enjoyable.

Last longer occasionally. Rather than simply lasting as long as possible I recommend mixing it up. Sometimes try to last a few hours. Take breaks. Sometimes go for a quickie.

The magic sentence for her pleasure is - Keep her guessing!

Speaking of giving her pleasant surprises...

Sexual Seduction #3 - Seduce Her OUTSIDE The Bedroom

Telling your Korean girlfriend how sexy she is in the bedroom is nice. Whispering to her how sexy she is at a restaurant is much more sexy…

If you can tell her how much you want her sexually in places where it's inappropriate for her to get horny then she'll love you more! The tension will get her even more lustful for you.

Did I mention how most guys in her life have never done that yet? ;-)

Make sexual jokes! If you can use double speak or sexual jokes during your conversations with her you'll get her laughing and horny. What a great mix of feelings a woman can feel for you!

For example the next time you're drinking a coffee together you can joke by saying in a sensual voice "mmm sometimes it feels so good to have something so HOT inside me. Wouldn't you agree?" ;-)

Sure this is corny but it works. It gets her laughing and wanting you there and then. The best part is she's loving it!

For more on how to have sexual talks click on the link.

Sexual Seduction Tip # 4 - Make Sure She Says "Thank You"

This might be controversial but it's very important. Society makes us believe that ONLY men should be grateful for women for giving them sex.

That sex is something women do for us men.

This is a bad myth.

In reality we both enjoy sex but here's the kicker - women get to enjoy it 1000 times more!

For us men the sexual lust lasts a short time and we're made to finish in a few minutes.

Not so for women.

Women can enjoy those lustful feelings a lot longer and more powerfully.

They also can orgasm in more ways that men can.

If you can make her feel so good in bed and get her to say 'thank you' then you know she's enjoying it.

THEN you know that you're doing a good job.

If she's having qualms with saying "thank you" then refer to tip #1. ;-)

NOTE: this isn't about showing how 'cool' you are and how she owes you something. It's about giving her the chance to surrender herself sexually and thanking you for bringing her there safely and...pleasurably.

Pleasure her in ways that her ex-boyfriends never even knew about!

Can YOU Sexually Seduce Her?

These tips are guaranteed to make a Korean woman (or any woman) stick around for more. You'll have influence over her in a way that most men will not.

Granted do you have the mindset and sexual maturity to do these things? Do you accept your own sexuality?
I know for me that I used to associate 'sex' with 'shame'. It wasn't until I read Without Embarrassment that I was able to transform myself to a sex-enjoying and giving man. If you're the same way I recommend clicking on the link above.

ANYONE Can Improve Their Sexual Seduction Skills!

When I first started I was not particularly good with women in bed.
What worked for me was the material from the 'Art & Science of Sex Seminar' that RedpoleQ teaches. If you want to boost your skills in the bedroom then I recommend checking it out by clicking on the link.

In any case just have fun with these tips. She sure will! ;-)

Get More!

Return to the top here!

Return to Korea-Dating-Tips.com here!

Discover how to seduce someone successfully here!

On sending sexual messages to your Korean women.

On creating a female sexual fantasy here!

Discover which women's sexual fantasies your Korean girlfriend has here!

Do sensual men have it all?

More on sexual seductions Korean women here!

Discover how to seduce a woman from Korea here!

Discover how to be sensual here!

How to improve your sexual life here!

3 tips to boost sexual talk here!

How to use sexual body language for more here!

Discover Why Sensual Touching Is VITAL When Dating a Korean Woman

Discover Why Sensual Touching Is VITAL When Dating a Korean Woman

Sensual touching does more than turn her on.
It's a powerful statement in so many ways.
Korean culture and society might look down on intimate touching.
This is especially true if you've just met.
But if want to go from meeting a Korean woman to something more intimate then 'touch' is your best tool.
Sexual touching
• makes the relationship work
• brings good feelings to everyone
• helps her feel comfortable for more
Once you've made touching her a habit you'll become irresistible - just what she's been waiting for.

Intimate Touching Sets The Relationship Tone

Even when a Korean woman likes you she won't give you any signals. This is mainly because of her culture.
Also she feels that it's a man's job to openly share what he wants. That's why touching her is important.
It lets her know that you are attracted to her and that you want something more intimate.
Believe men when I say that if you don't touch her she won't have a clue as to what you want! Many Korean women aren't as 'aware' of how Western (or casual) dating works.
Touching her helps her know what you want. It also sets you up as a sensual man who knows what he wants.

Sensual Touching Feels Good

Sexually touching a woman feels good. It feels nice for you AND her.
There's nothing like being on a date with a beautiful Korean woman and feeling her legs. Or maybe that's just me. ;-)
Granted there's a right way and a wrong way of touching a woman. If you want to know what to do if she ever says "don't touch me!" then click on the link.
It's also important for you as a sensual man.
It's okay to want a woman physically.
Wanting to touch her is normal and natural.
The problem happens if you don't know when intimate touching a woman is appropriate. Discover when by clicking on the link.

Sensual Touching Makes Her
Comfortable With More

Guys get into trouble when they start off as 'nice guys' (i.e. don't do anything to signal interest) and go straight to kissing her inappropriately.
This is a big mistake because she didn't expect something so unpredictable.
If you want her to be comfortable with you being more intimate then I recommend touching her from the beginning.
You also want to get gradually more sexual with your intimate touching.
For more on how to do this click on the link!

Make Touching Her a Habit

The best thing you can do when meeting and dating a Korean woman is to make touching a habit. If you do it regularly and come across as a touchy-feely guy then getting more intimate will happen sooner.
You know what they say about getting more intimate with touching:
"Keep going!" ;-)

Korea Dating Tips › A Touch of Romance › Sensual Touching

Discover When Touching Women in Korea Is A Must

Discover When Touching
Women in Korea Is A Must

Going on a date or meeting a Korean woman?

Wondering when touching women from Korea is appropriate?
Soon you'll discover when it's okay to get more physically intimate.
You'll also discover how to make it so that they're comfortable as well.
You see - they WANT you to touch them.
In fact the sooner you begin touching each other the better.
The best times for touching a Korean woman are when:
• social circumstance allow it
• you want to
• you're physically close
• she wants to
Once you know how to touch a woman in Korea then getting intimate with her becomes a lot smoother.

When Social Circumstances Allow It

A great time for touching women is when it's socially acceptable to do so.
For example are you being introduced to her? Then shake her hand! If you want you can even spin her for a little fun. ;-)
What about when you're taking a picture together or dancing classes?
The best time to touch her is when you have a great idea or want to say something interesting! You can touch her to get her attention because it's socially acceptable in that case.
The biggest mistake you can make is to look uncomfortable when touching her. If you can touch her comfortably then she'll feel comfortable with you.
The sooner you can make touching women instinctive and habitual the better off your dating life will be.

Touch Her When You Want To

Are you on a date with her and she said something you found funny? If you want to congratulate her then give her a high-five!
Sometimes Korean women do the cutest things and I want to hug them. So I do! I recommend doing the same when you want to.
If she asks you "what are you doing" tell her you just HAD to hug her. It's her fault for being so cute after all. That's a compliment and genuinely how you feel.
This is also important for YOU. Wanting to touch a woman is a natural desire. She also wants you to touch her too.
The problem is when it's too inappropriate without warranting it. This can be a problem.
For more on how to gradually start intimately touching her I recommend clicking on the link.

When You Get Close

If you're having coffee or a meal then I recommend sitting next to her. That way if you're close you can have it so that your legs are touching.
Also if you're sitting in a taxi or car close together I recommend putting your arm around her.
If she says don't touch me and you want to know how to handle that then click on the link.

When She Wants It

There will be times when a Korean woman WANTS you to touch her. It'll be subtle because Korean women are taught not to show sexual desire. But it'll be there.
If your Korean woman "accidentally" leans closer to you or puts her hand near yours it's no accident. Chances are she wants you to touch her.
After all - we all crave touch and she obviously feels comfortable enough around you. So I recommend touching her when you feel like she wants it.

The #1 Rule For Touching
Women When On Dates

If ever you're on a date with a woman and ask yourself:
"Should I touch her?"
Then I recommend touching her. Just be aware of what's socially appropriate and when. For more on what's appropriate intimate touching I recommend clicking on the link.
Have fun at your date and enjoy touching her.
If you do it right so will she! ;-)

A Touch of Romance When Touching Korean Women

A Touch of Romance When
Touching Korean Women

A touch of romance - Discover how to make your touching more romantic to become more intimate with Korean women. Make her feel more intensely about you as you know when and when not to touch her!

Everybody loves the feelings of 'touch' in their lives.

When it comes to dating Korean women nothing is as powerful as touch them romantically.

Knowing how to romantically touch a woman makes being with you very intense and intimate.

Soon you'll discover how to touch a Korean woman (or any woman) to make her want more.
Intimate touching means:

• knowing why you must touch her

• how to touch her so that she will want more

• how to make the touching more romantically intimate

Get good at giving a touch of romance and she will want more than just to touch you back.

Why Romantic Touch Is a Must

People love intimate touching. It's a way we discover more about ourselves. For more on when and where to touch a Korean woman I recommend clicking on the link.

It's also a way for you to express who you are. Or rather who you want to be: a sensual man who touches women because they like it.

As a sensual man you reward her with your touch. If she does something you like then you touch her. If she doesn't then you push her away.

Once you get a Korean woman hooked on your touch she'll want to make you happy for more. After all who doesn't want to touch someone we feel attraction for?

Make Her Want More!

As you reward her with a touch of romance and push her away you can do something even more powerful: You can create a romantic tension that will keep her guessing!

For example you can tell her that you don't like her while pulling her in with your hand.

You can also tell her that you like her too much and push her away.

This kind of touching creates the tension that makes her want more.

She'll love the little game you're playing and will flirt back with you.

It's like in those romantic movies. A man pulls a woman towards him and tells her how he hates her because he loves her too much.

Or other movies where they can be together but circumstances physically push them apart (think 'Titanic'.)

Being able to create tension with romantic touch sets you apart in a magical way. Especially if you can escalate that tension to something more.

Make It More Intimate

As you talk with her you can escalate the interaction.

How?

By knowing how to touch a girl the right way. Discover more about how to literally give her a touch of romance by clicking on the link. ;-)

If you've shown her that you're a sensual man and have created some physical tension then she'll expect more intimacy from you.

If she's sticking around as you're touching her romantically then she'll want you to take her to a private place and touch her more intimately.

You can even make it happen when she says don't touch me!" For more on how to do that then click on the link.

The Power of Romance

Romance is really a name we give to a feeling. The feeling is a tension that you now know how to create with touch.

When intimate touching is comfortable and natural for you then it will be the same for her. More on how to make it possible by clicking on the link.

Have fun! ;-)

Korea Dating Tips › A Touch of Romance

Related Links To 'A Touch of Romance'

More on sensual touching here!

When touching women is okay!

Discover 'Intimate Touching' When Meeting and Dating Korean Women!

Discover 'Intimate Touching' When Meeting and Dating Korean Women!

Touch her intimately and amaze yourself at how quickly you can go further with women (or in this case 'Korean women'). ;-)

When you know how to touch a woman intimately right away she'll get turned on faster.

She'll more likely feel comfortable with you when you make a pass.

You also boost your chances of her following you to the bedroom.

But before it's vital to understand

• the need for intimate touch

• when to start touching intimately

• how to go from basic to extremely intimate touching

• what to do if she doesn't like it (at first)

Soon you'll discover the keys to making sensual touching work in your seductions.

Why is Intimate Touching Important

Human beings need more than just water and food. We also need human companionship. The thing is we don't just socialize by talking and making facial expressions.

We also use our body. Touching human beings and being touched is vital to our survival as people.

In fact the only reason why we're alive is because our mothers took great care to hold and touch us daily. Babies that don't get any intimate touching die.

Touching is THAT important.

Begin Sensually Touching
A Korean Woman...

...as soon as possible.

In fact I usually start conversations with women by touching them.

No I don't touch below their waist with a creepy look on my face. ;-)

More below on how to start touching her so that she feels comfortable!

The reason for touching them right away is that it sets up the frame that you're a touchy-feely person.

If you sensually touch her the right way she'll know instantly that you're a physical man.

This will make seducing her to the bedroom more predictable and enjoyable.

After all who doesn't like to be touched the right way? ;-)

Intimate Touching The Right Way!

I recommend starting in this order:

level 1 - upper arm

level 2 - upper back, shoulders

level 3 - lower back, lower arm,

level 4 - hand, outer thigh, head, leg, inner stomach,

level 5 - lips, inner thigh

level 6 - the rest ;-)

When you start with touching the upper arm I recommend using the back of your hand and tapping her to get her attention.

When you touch her be sure that at first it's for short periods of time (1 second tops). As she gets comfortable you can leave your hand there longer and escalate the touching.

Note:For the steps on how to go from touching to dating grab a copy of my beginner's e-guide 'Date Korean Women'. Click on the link for more! ;-)

What If She Won't Like Me Touching Her?

There can be many reasons for that.

For more on what could be holding her back I recommend checking these 'how to touch a girl' Troubleshooting checklist. Discover how to make it work by clicking on the link.

Problems With Touching Intimately?

When you're touching a human being you want to put as much as into your touch as you would if it were a pet dog or cat.

Who doesn't like petting an animal? Do you feel desperation or lust? Not at all (unless you're into bestiality which is fair enough.) ;-)

Instead there's caring and affection in your touch. If you can intimately touch the woman you're seducing that way she will love you for it. It feels good and when she trusts you enough she'll let you continue in more intimate areas…

Have fun! ;-)

Get More!

Return to the top of intimate touching here!

More on a touch of romance here!

Return to Korea-Dating-Tips.com here!

Transform 'Don't Touch Me' Into "Please Touch Me!" When Meeting Korean Women!

Transform 'Don't Touch Me' Into "Please Touch Me!" When
Meeting Korean Women!

"Don't touch me!" - Discover how to transform that into 'Please touch me!' when meeting Korean women and get more intimate successfully.
When a Korean woman says "don't touch me!" does she always mean it?

Of course she does!

But that doesn't mean she doesn't want you to touch her AT ALL.

Most normal human beings love physical contact.

She'd love it from you too if you can handle her feedback.

So what CAN you do to make you touching her something she accepts and wants?

It depends on understanding 'why' she's saying it and how you handle her objection:

• when you just meet her

• when you're building rapport and comfort with her

• when you're in bed with her

Soon you'll discover how to make her go from "no touchee!" to "touch me now!" ;-)

Why She's Saying "Don't Touch Me!"

At the surface it may seem like she just doesn't want you to touch her.

If you dig deeper you find out that it's not the case.

In fact she DOES want you to touch her.

Human beings love physical touch and in some cultures it's common to be physically close (even for Koreans.)

Touching someone is another way of getting to know them.

Remember when you were a kid and touched everything? Maybe even today you and her touch things you're curious about.

Touching is natural and if you want to know more on how to touch a girl the right way then click on the link.

You'll discover what you need to change for making her feel comfortable with you touching her.

So once you know HOW intimate touching works we can then work on what to do when she says "Don't touch me!"

Handle Feedback When You're
Meeting Korean Women

If you're starting an interaction with her and she's saying "Don't touch me!" there here things you can do.

Understand that when a woman says that she just wants you to ease up on (but not stop) the touching until she feels comfortable.

Look at her like she's being silly (which she is.) Touching is something people do. In some cultures even strangers touch each other as a form of communication and contact.
Some people even kiss at first meeting!
By giving her a look that she's being silly you're making her feel like SHE'S the one being socially inappropriate. Especially if she's making a scene.

In the meantime re-calibrate your touching so that she feels comfortable. For a list of where to appropriately start intimate touching and making it more confortable click on the link.
Mimic her silliness. If she's still saying "don't touch me!" then you can mimic her. Act like a spoiled little girl as you mimic her. That will get a laugh out of her and make her realize that she's being silly.

Re-calibrate your touching and continue.

Handling Feedback When You're
Building Rapport And Comfort

What if you're getting to know each other and she's still asking you not to touch her? I share some stories to remind her that touching is natural and vital for people.

Talk about your touchy grandparents or culture. I would personally tell her how my grandmother and her mediterranean culture was very touchy-feely.

At first I was weirded out by it as a kid but eventually I realized that it's natural and fun.

So touching people is part of my culture.

Talk about how you're a touchy-feely person. I recommend telling her that you're naturally touchy-feely and that it's part of who you are. You can then ask her if she knew any other touchy-feely people who she DID like touching her. We all have someone.

As she thinks about that person she'll remember how comfortable she was when that person touched her.

That will make her start to feel comfortable with you.

Tell her about the strange case in the hospital. In the early 20th century a hospital kept having babies that died. Nobody knew why because the babies were healthy and had food and water.

It wasn't until they noticed how the surviving babies were the ones that the nurses held. People NEED touch.

What If She Says "Don't Touch Me!"
In The Bedroom?

Let's be frank here. If she's in your bed it's not because she needs a place to sleep. When a woman says it in bed it's either because there's something you haven't addressed or you're escalating too quickly.

Make a game of it. If you're kissing her shoulder and she says "no touchee!" then playfully ask her if you can kiss her somewhere else (as you do it.) Kiss her upper arm and ask "How about here?" Keep it up and she'll lighten up.

Act turned off. If she insists that you don't touch her then I recommend being annoyed (not angry) and getting out of bed to do something else.

In both cases she'll open up and hint at what's holding her back at being intimate with you. Maybe she's afraid that you'll just use her for sex and throw her out. Maybe she's insecure about her body. Whatever it is let her open up and address it.

Whatever happens I STRONGLY DISCOURAGE you from escalating the intimacy if she says "Stop!" or walks (runs) away from you. There is a fine line between voluntary sex and rape. Use your own judgement.

Speaking of fine line...

When Should You Just Stop Touching Her?

For me when I'm meeting Korean women I stop touching them if they walk away. I don't pursue.

If they walk away from you too then that's fine. What's IMPORTANT is that they know you're a sensual man.

This is vital because in the future if you see her again and she's looking for a man to be intimate with then chances are she'll pick you.

Why? Because you're brave enough to be sensual so she knows she can show that side of herself with you. You wanting to bed her will not surprise her. In fact if she came back to "talk to you" it's because she wants (and expects) you to make a pass.

In any case you'll notice better results as you meet and touch Korean women.

Have fun! ;-)

More Info

Return to the top of Don't Touch Me here!

More on sexual seduction here!

Return to Korea-Dating-Tips.com homepage here!

How To Touch a Girl From Korea Troubleshooting Tips!

How To Touch a Girl From
Korea Troubleshooting Tips!

How to touch a girl troubleshooting guide - everything you need to know for making Korean women comfortable with your intimate touching.

Follow @BlueMysteryPUA

Want to know how to touch a girl (from Korea) to make her more comfortable with your intimate touching?

People touching each other is natural and fun.

Even more: intimate relationships and seduction come from physical touch.

Making sure that the Korean woman you're seducing enjoys your physical touch is VITAL if you want more intimacy.

During my 4+ years of coaching men at meeting and dating Korean women I've seen common touching mistakes.

Below you'll discover what might be holding you back.

You'll also learn what the #1 mistake guys make when touching a woman is.

Rest easy - you'll soon transform your touching from inappropriate to desirable!

Discover The Power of Touch!

Touching someone is a basic human need. Everyone loves being touched and touch is vital to a solid seduction.

When we were infants nurses and our mother HAD to hold us a lot. This gave our human bodies the touching we needed to feel love and affection.

Even animals love touch. That's why animals with a deep connection hug each other or touch one another.

Think about a pet cat or dog. We love them because they come and touch us. We also enjoy touching them because it makes both of us feel good.

When it comes to touching a Korean woman the feelings are the same: You love giving her touch just like you did with a pet. She loves receiving touch if you do it the right way.

First let's look at the typical mistakes guys make when touching a woman intimately.

How To Touch a Girl The Wrong Way

Touch her too intimately too soon. If you're touching her and she's not comfortable it might be because you're touching her too intimately.

Even if you're just touching her upper back she might feel it's too intimate for HER.

Especially with Korean women whose Asian culture is not a touching one.

That doesn't mean that she doesn't want to be touched.

It just means that you're going too fast (for her) with the touching.

Re-calibrate and go slower with the touching.

For more on intimate touching and what to do to make it happen sooner...click on the link!

Touch her but feeling uncomfortable yourself. Another common mistake guys make is to make the touching uncomfortable. You might be hesitating and believe me she can feel it. If you're uncomfortable so will she be.

Touch randomly and unexpectedly. If you've been chatting her up for an hour and then start holding her hand she'll jump back.

The problem in this case isn't that you touched her. The problem was that it was too sudden and in this case too intimate.

Touch her too desperately. Women are very intuitive creatures. If you're touching her and she can tell that it's desperate and creepy then she'll reject it.

So if this is all about how to touch a girl the wrong way then what is the right way?

How To Touch a Girl The Right Way!

Make the touching gradual and predictable. If you start touching her slightly at first and in comfortable places then she'll feel comfortable. As you escalate the interaction and you escalate the touching she'll keep feeling comfortable…even as the touching gets more intimate.

Make intimate touching work with the practical steps in this link.

Make 'touching' a reward. Whether it's just a pat on the back or a long massage - touching is a reward you give. I recommend touching her with the same mindset you have when patting a dog or child (or even yourself) for doing a good job.

Touch regularly and enjoyably. It's important to come across as a man who touches people because he likes it. He also knows that the other people like it too.

You can make her feel comfortable with your touch because you'll come across as a 'touchy-feely' man. Touching people is just part of who you are and so be it.

Internalize these tips and you'll be more successful at touching a girl from Korea (or anywhere) more intimately. As long as you avoid this #1 mistake!

The #1 Mistake That Guys Make
When Touching a Woman

A lot of guys (including myself) believe that when a woman rejects something we do that she's rejecting US.

The biggest mistake when learning how to touch a girl is to confuse rejecting your touching with rejecting YOU.

Touching her intimately so that she's comfortable means pushing the limits. There will be times where she's saying "don't touch me!" Most of the times it's because of the errors above.

So take the feedback and re-calibrate your touching. This will make your seducing more enjoyable when you date Korean women.

One time I was on a date with a Korean woman and she wouldn't have any of my touching.

I kept re-calibrating and escalating the interaction.

End result? We were in my bed 2 hours later.

She even told me that she never "just sleeps with a guy."

Even I was shocked that we ended up being so intimate!

Granted it ended up being just a one time thing as she never returned my calls. Ah well… ;-)

In any case - have fun!

Get Your Hands on More!

Return to the top of How To Touch a Girl here!

More on a touch of romance here!

Return to Korea-Dating-Tips.com homepage here!

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http://www.alienteachers.com/1/post/2013/05/ma-tesolapplied-linguistics-interview-1-with-tyson-seburnt.html

Red Flags (girls): 1) PLASTIC SURGERY: - check if double eyelids -> more chance of further surgery having been done. - further surgery is normally a) shaving off the V of Chinline (V-line means beauty) b) Making the nose higher (like western nose = beauty)

Red Flags (girls):

1) PLASTIC SURGERY:
- check if double eyelids -> more chance of further surgery having been done.
- further surgery is normally a) shaving off the V of Chinline (V-line means beauty)
                                          b) Making the nose higher (like western nose = beauty)
- Ask for childhood photos (- can see about nose and chin)

2) ONLY WANT MONEY (SOCIAL STATUS) or FREE ENGLISH LESSONS

3) MAKEUP <-> NO MAKEUP

4) SHORT, FAT and STUBBY (- average 80%)

5) PARTY-ER (while still old.. = no loyalty)

6) FAMILY CONDITION (family's work/siblings and spacing)

Conversation Flow: 1) KakaoTalk -> 2) Facebook -> 3) Age -> 4) Connection = same hobbies -> put in same circle (= on the same side against the world). -> 5) Sharing stories of past/funny/fun experiences/teaching things.

Conversation Flow:

1) KakaoTalk
->
2) Facebook
->
3) Age
->
4) Connection = same hobbies -> put in same circle (= on the same side against the world).
->
5) Sharing stories of past/funny/fun experiences/teaching things.

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대한민국의 미팅

방식

남녀양측에서 미팅을 주선하는 사람이 동성 친구들을 모으고 날짜를 정하고 자리를 마련한다. 이 때, 남녀수는 일반적으로 짝이 맞아야 하므로 동수가 되거나, 주선자를 빼고 동수이다. 남자측과 여자측이 한 테이블에서 서로 마주 보고 앉아서 서로 이런 저런 이야기를 나누면서 자신의 마음에 드는 사람을 찾게 되는데, 이때 자신의 마음에 드는 상대를 골랐다는 표시를 간접적인 방식으로 하게 된다. 서로 마음에 맞는 사람이 정해지면 그 커플이 함께 자리를 뜨는 방식으로 2차 데이트가 시작된다. 헤어질 때는 서로 연락처를 주고 받는데, 서로 마음이 맞으면 연락을 지속하고, 그렇지 않으면 미팅이 1회로 종료된다.

용어

• 퀸카(←Queen Card):미팅에 나온 여성중에서 남성들의 주목을 끄는 가장 매력적인 사람을 가리킨다.
• 킹카(←King Card):미팅에 나온 남성중에서 여성들의 주목을 끄는 가장 매력적인 사람을 가리킨다.
• 폭탄:미팅에 나온 남녀중에서 외모적 매력이 매우 떨어지는 사람을 일컫는다.
• 폭탄제거반:폭탄으로 지목된 사람을 먼저 데리고 나오는 임무를 맡은 사람.

미팅의 여러 형식과 파생어

미팅의 마지막 글자인 -팅이 접미사 파생을 통하여 여러 데이트 방식을 일컫는 말로 쓰인다.

• 폰팅:모르는 사람에게 전화를 거는 데이트 방식으로, 휴대폰 보급이전에 유행하였다.
• 소개팅:한 사람이 다른 사람을 소개시켜 1:1로 만남을 갖는 데이트방식이다.
• 번개팅:온라인에서 알게 된 사람을 오프라인에서 실제로 만나는 것을 말한다. 줄여서 번개라고도 한다.
• 데이팅:웹사이트에서 실제 데이트코스를 조합하여 만나는 방식을 말한다.
• 문자팅,문팅:휴대폰의 문자메시지를 주고 받는 데이트를 말한다.
• 쪽지팅:웹사이트에서 1:1 쪽지 서비스를 이용한 데이트를 말한다.

분류:

• 데이트

EPIK Cultural Shock

Korean base privacy on the status and relationship of that person meaning certain personal information such as age, marital status etc are necessary in order to maintain that relationship.

Koreans give personal information to strangers or casual acquaintances to become more intimate whereas Westerners require intimacy first. We like to know someone first.

Restrictions among western friends are
1. Not borrowing money. We have a saying in the US “If you want to loose a friend loan them money “
2. Respect a friend’s privacy
3. Not putting another under obligation. Again we don’t mind if you ask but learn to accept no without being offended.

Korean ways are
1. Respecting the elderly (though I do not see this on the subways and buses nor with the handicapped or mentally ill) Korean society has been influenced by the West to wait in line, but it is still uncommon. Westerners and Koreans have opposite views on courtesy in a business relationship.
Westerners place business and personal relationships separate as to keep neutrality in decision making and to process quickly. Whereas Korean’s value personal connections for a long-term, trusting business relationship. Both of these practices have their good and bad points. I personally will not rent an apartment to a friend, close associate or a friend or a friend. It can cause too many problems and cause one to make decisions based on that relationship and not what is necessarily good for the business.

Let’s talk about what we are all here for “English Education.” I grew up in a family of teachers and have many friends who are teachers in the US so I was really taken back when I came to Korea.

Though Korea has a national curriculum there seems to be no conformity in English Education. Even in the Universities where Native Teachers have a Master Degree and are teaching Koreans about English Education the majority of their degrees are not in English. In Korea’s thirst for English Education they have been bomb-barded by many Koreans and foreigners who lack the skills or the passion as teachers. In choosing a NT, recruiters first seem to look for someone who is white; between the ages of 22- 35 then they consider their experiences last.

Rumor has it in the foreign community that NT’s will no longer be considered for coveted positions in public schools in Seoul or Busan if you are over 50 and sometimes down to 40. I have seen this myself on the websites. Recruiters have told me to only look for positions in the country or less popular areas.

Korean teachers have too much power in what goes on in the relationship and when something goes wrong they have no where to turn. Again I am lucky at my school as the teachers there are real cool.

(Maybe a board of Koreans and NT’s who are trained in conflict management and cultural differences and can give needed information to live and work in Korea).

2.

Consistency in teaching methods- Though I like to do many things in teaching we want consistency in certain teaching methods. Being from a family of teachers I have learn that students in the elementary schools need to build a solid foundation and some things are just not negotiable.

In the English language there are 220 Sight Words. These are all taught from pre-kindergarten through 3^rd grade in western schools. This starts a foundation where children will be able to recognize the meaning of a sentence even though they may not understand every word. At least one sight word is in every sentence in the English language.

In Korea this should be mandatory starting in the first level in which English is taught and should be finished within 4 years or the 6^th grade whichever comes first. Students can do many things to learn these sight words through stories, games etc. Word families should also be apart of that program. Scholastic and Spectrum are my favorite companies in providing books etc for this purpose. I can also provide you with other favorites upon request. Most can be bought in Korea. Also word families should be taught in the upper elementary levels. Students want more than anything to be able to talk to foreigners. This can be done by doing Surveys. A great book for this is “The Survey Says” 100 Surveys for Students to Conduct by John Cabot. It gives them a sense of pride and makes them want to continue learning. Yes, English is difficult but like all languages English is based on a timeline and rules. Once these rules are taught it makes it easier to comprehend why English is the way it is. I am including with this essay what I would teach in the ideal situation on the elementary level to build a foundation for the middle schools and above. But since most NT’s only assist and the curriculum in mandatory it makes it more difficult but not impossible.

Most after school programs are also difficult due to the different levels placed in one classroom. How I deal with that is to pair two lower level students with 3 higher level students so they can help them.

I have spent millions of won on my students in Korea. Many NT’s tell me I am crazy and maybe I am. But I love what I do and I love these kids. I believe that to teach English one must also live it. In Korea too much emphasis is based on the tests they take to enter college making English a dreaded and most hated subject among the Korean students.

This is why after years of language learning they still cannot speak it. That is sad. I teach English but I also teach hip hop and yoga (which teaches English words about movement and dance. It also builds confidence. I tell my students that hip hop, like English looks difficult but if you break it down and make it fun it is much easier. Also students in after-school programs need to be able to use English more with foreigners through doing surveys, eating in English restaurants and going where foreigners are.

because really after all the cultural and personal differences are put aside, are we really all that different? I don’t think so. We all want the same things, Love, Happiness and success for ourselves and our children.