The Art of Loving An Introvert

The Art of Loving An Introvert

You and your new partner have many things in common, share similar goals, and the sex is great. This just might be “the one.” There’s just one small thing that bugs you. You love a night on the town, enjoy having a busy calendar, and thrive on social interaction. When you have a major decision to make, you call your partner, your mom, and your five closest friends. If your plans get canceled, you’ll text your phone list until you find a friend who can hang out.

We are all prone to the malady of the introvert who, with the manifold spectacle of the world spread out before him, turns away and gazes only upon the emptiness within. But let us not imagine there is anything grand about the introvert’s unhappiness.

Your partner, on the other hand, loves nothing more than a quiet evening at home. He or she enjoys spending time with you, and maybe with a close friend, but is just as happy curling up with a good book.
In other words, you’re an extrovert, and your partner is introverted. You want to be the life of the party, and your partner wants to decline the invitation altogether.
For an extrovert, loving an introvert can be frustrating. But if you work through the kinks, your personality differences can actually bring balance to your lives. Below are some suggestions for making your extrovert / introvert relationship click.

1. Understand what being an introvert means

Being introverted does not mean your partner is antisocial. Introverts are just drained by interaction and social activity, and recharge with solitude or quiet companionship.

2. Give your partner space

When he or she says she wants to be alone, your natural inclination may be towards hurt feelings. That’s because you’re an extrovert, so when you aren’t interested in someone’s company it probably means you’re angry at them or bored by them. That isn’t the case with an introvert, who just wants time to think, recharge or pursue a solitary hobby.

3. Compromise

Your perfect night out may be drinks and dancing with a large group, while your partner’s is dinner for two in a quiet restaurant. Take turns making plans.

4. Take “time outs” during arguments

When extroverts argue, they want to hash out the problem until a resolution is reached. An extrovert makes decisions by talking. An introvert needs time to chew on a problem alone. Call a “time out” when arguments get heated, or your partner may just agree to your point of view to end the draining conversation, and resent it later.

5. Appreciate what you have

Your partner may never be the life of the weekly happy hour. But look on the bright side. Introverts are deeply loyal to those they love. Most introverts are very romantic, since they value quiet time with someone special to them. So save the party for your friends, and enjoy the intimate relationship you have with your introverted partner.